Smooth, cool, refreshing... (Big Bruiser Avocado-Chicken Salad)

Everyone, I know it's been a while! I CAN EXPLAIN!!!!!!!!!!!


See, believe it or not, I try to cook something new ALL THE TIME... and not all of it is fit for company! Not all of it would I feed to any of you, nor any of YOURS! And isn't that the point of cooking? Not just to cook for ourselves, but to cook for others, for "communion" with one another. Hey- it's been going on since Adam and Eve shared a tasty apple...


So, I have a few items to share with you all- great things are coming, light, refreshing, EASY, and FULL OF FLAVOR!! Not only that, but they're even... dare I say it? Ok,... softly. Get close to the screen... 'cuz I'm going to whisper... closer... CLOSER!!!! 


It's healthy! YES INDEED PEOPLE! Bikini season is right around the corner, and some people should be in a bikini, and the rest of us not so much! And NO ONE should be in spandex!!! (have we not all seen the photos of the Walmart customers?) But, this will help us all feel fit, confident, energetic, and as though we're cheating on our diets (believe it or not)!


So, I'm going to start with something today, that's served room temp, and very simple to prepare. It's very versatile- you could serve this on top of Romaine lettuce as a salad, with tortilla chips (not too many now!), on a pita... you get the gist! Heck, in a pinch, you probably have enough supplies in the house to make this TONIGHT!

The finished product, sittin' all fancy and stuff!
(GIMME A FORK AND SOME DORITOS!!! RIGHT?)

Big Bruiser Avocado-Chicken Salad

• 2/3 cup of homemade mayonnaise (see link: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/anne-burrell/homemade-mayonnaise-recipe/index.html)
• 1/3 cup red onion, diced
• 4 green onions, diced (whites and greens)
• Two chicken breasts (cooked how you like*)
• Two avocados, in big chunks
• 1/2 C chopped cilantro, loosely measured (a couple handfuls at least!)
• Salt and pepper to taste
• Two pinches of cayenne pepper
• 1/4 C lemon or lime juice
• Lemon/Lime wedges on the side
• Sliced cucumber, pita chips, tortilla chips, endive leaves, Romaine lettuce leaves (whole)

You'll want gloves for this!

Bruisin' the bird and the avo-CADOooo... take that!
(does my arm really look that hairy? Scary...)

1. In a large bowl, cut chicken in to large chunks and then break in to smaller pieces with your hands.
2. Add diced onions, cilantro, mayo, lemon juice cayenne, salt and pepper (this is a recipe that drinks in the salt- go easy, but you'll need a lot).
3. Remove the seeds from the avocados and peel- cut into large chunks. Put in bowl to play nice with everyone else... now comes the fun part!
4. Get yer hands in that bowl, and MASH with your fingers, pushing that avocado into every nook and cranny of the chicken, massaging the bird, and bruising the avocado, making it creamy and smooth.
5. Put plastic over the top, making sure it touches the mixture and seals out all the air. Place in fridge for 30 minutes for all the flavors to mingle, co-habitate, fight and get married!
6. Grab some veg or crackers or chips, and dig in!